In one week...

We will be sleeping in a motel, the house will be empty, and we will be about to embark on our seven day journey to the East Coast. The goodbyes started last weekend.

My godmother and I took the kiddos to Palm Spring to say goodbye to my grandparents and my bff and her kids. What a trip! Eight hours in the car, a pregnant lady that has to pee all the time, a 4 year old that has to try to go pee every time Mommy does, a two year old that freaks out every time Mommy and Sissy get out of the car, and the same 4 and 2 year old that fought the.entire.time. The ENTIRE time! Any time we were in the car, they were fighting. For three days. Who is looking forward to seven days in the car with them? Yeah, not me.

Saying goodbye to my bff...yeah, maybe we should just amputate a limb. It would be easier. Yes, we live about 9 hours away from each other and only see each other once or twice a year. But it is ONLY nine hours. Or two and a half by plane. Easy to do, in a heartbeat. Living on opposite coasts? I'm still not ok with that. But we will do what we do. And I will love her from afar. <3 p="">
We said bye to my brother, his girlfriend, and my nephew today. I am going to miss that sweet baby boy growing up. So he had better send me a ton of photos, every day. My nephew has the best smile for a one month old. He laughed at his cousins and snuggled with auntie. I told his mommy I might sneak him away with me. ;)

The house is looking emptier and emptier as we enter our last weekend in Tucson. The kids are excited. Mommy just wants to be in NH and sleep for a week. Daddy has painted and painted. Next week, we get new carpet. Hopefully someone rents the house soon.

Just one more week

From a 4 year old

On Saturday, we told Isabella that she and Riley are going to have a baby sister or brother at the end of the summer. Since then, she has asked:

- Can I call the baby Rapunzel
- If we have a boy, can we exchange him for a girl
- Are we keeping Riley (nice to know she is confident in HER place in the family lol)
- Will the baby like her
- Will the baby steal her stuff
- When will the baby be here
- Why don't we know yet if she is getting a sister
- What does the baby look like
- Where is the baby
- Does the baby sleep
- What does the baby think about

And she has:

- Kissed my stomach a thousand times
- Sang "You are my sunshine" to the baby
- Put her lovey and blankey on my stomach so the baby doesn't get cold
- Pet my stomach
- When Riley tried to jump on me, she patted my stomach and said "It's ok, baby. He's just a boy" lmao
- Told the baby "I love you"
- Ran into school yesterday and announced to her teacher "My mommy has a new baby in her tummy and it's going to be a girl because I already have a brother"

Not that she is the least bit excited or anything

The Little Things Matter

All day long, all I could think about was how much longer until I picked Isabella up at school. Until I could have her home with me, where I knew she was safe.

I spent extra time with Riley today. Snuggled on the couch, watching Winnie the Pooh. Slipped him an extra animal cracker (have you tried those organic ones from Costco? Yummy!). Stroked his head with extra tenderness.

Tonight, Isabella and I snuggled on the couch and watched Tinkerbell The Secret of the Wings. She snuggled up under my arm on the couch, under the quilt. Every once in awhile, she would look at me and say "Guess how much I love you, Mommy?" "How much, Bella?" "More than mushrooms!" My silly girl.

I paid more attention to everything today. To the way Riley says "Choo choo" for every train he has. The way he puts my hand on his belly to give him a belly rub. Today, he carried his blankey, lovey, blanket, Scout, Winnie the Pooh, and a train with him everywhere. To the sweet way Isabella played with Riley this evening. To the sweet way she sings. To the way she put her baby to bed and told Riley and me to "Shh, my baby is asleep!"

I hugged them a few extra times. I gave them a couple of extra kisses. I inhaled their scent before bed. And I thanked my lucky stars that my babies are safe.

Isabella and I prayed for the victims and their families tonight. She asked what happened to them, and I told her a bad man hurt them. She said he needs a time out. I wish my life was that simple.

Hug your babies

Day 21-23

Day 21

I am thankful for being able to make yummy food to eat with my family tomorrow. I am thankful to have the money to buy the food, and the ability to make it. Everybody loves my sweet potatoes, and it is so nice to have a dish that is requested.

Day 22

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for my family. For my husband and our children. For my godmother. For my dad. For my brother and his girlfriend and the baby they are having. I am thankful for friends that are more friends than family. I am thankful for everyone I love.

Day 23

I am thankful for an amazing husband and awesome godmother that take over when I am sick. Good Lord, was I sick! I spent most of the wee hours of the morning depositing my insides in the toilet. I have NO idea what made me sick (apparently all of that yummy food did not agree with me) but it was HELL. And my ribs still hurt. But Jeff and my godmother took over. Isabella went shopping with Grandma, and Jeff was on Riley duty. I slept all but maybe two or three hours of the day. I am thankful to have them to pick up the slack

Day 20

I am thankful for being there, even when it is scary.

Sometimes, there comes a point in a friendship where one of the people steps forward a little bit, takes a little bit more of the load, lets the other person unload all of the worries and fears that person has. Sometimes it is incredible scary to be that person; to be the one shouldering the load, listening, trying to find the right words, trying to be THERE long distance for the person you love.

Today, I was that person. Today, I was scared out of my mind. Today, I was trusted with more than I ever have been before. Today, our friendship grew.

Here is what I need my friend to know: I keep my promises. Always. Especially to you. You are stronger, smarter, sweeter, sassier, braver, and more loving than you ever give yourself credit for. You are amazing, in so many ways. And it will be ok. Today was rough. But we got through it. And we will get through the next one. I love you

I am always there, even when it is scary.

Day 19

Today I am thankful for two on one time with Isabella. I love when Riley spends the night with grandma because it gives me (us) the opportunity to hang out with Isabella. Sometimes Jeff is at work and it is just us girls, coloring and watching princess movies and painting our nails.

Last night, she wanted to go to the mall with Daddy AND Mommy, so we did. We ate and she played, and it was so nice to hear her observations about life and people and food and just everything. She has some definite opinions about things. She is wicked smart. Way smarter than I was at almost four (and I was pretty smart, let me tell you ;) ).

She's a funny, interesting, smart, silly little girl. And the time without her brother is precious.

Day 18

Today I am thankful for our spunky, sweet, charming Riley. Happy birthday, little man. The last two years have flown by, but have been filled with laughter and silliness thanks to you. You are turning into such a big boy. I don't know where my baby went.

Your roars make us laugh, your ostrich pose never gets old, and your smile lights up the room. Ever time you come to me for a kiss or a belly rub, it warms my heart.

Watching you grow from a tiny newborn into a two year old almost the size of your sister has been amazing. Watching each new milestone, hearing each new word, learning about what you like and don't like, has been an entirely new experience. Thank you

Thank you for adding to our family. We love you, sweet boy.