Dear Isabella

Dear Isabella,

You are fast asleep, after numerous promises from mommy that I will check on you before I go to bed. You are worried I will be lonely tomorrow without you. You have told me you are going to miss me so much tomorrow. You do not want to go to kindergarten.

But tomorrow is going to be amazing, my girl. You are so brilliant and funny and kind. You will charm your teacher and make a bunch of new friends. You will paint, draw, color, learn to read, learn to be more independent.

I know tomorrow is going to be hard for you, lovey. It is going to be hard for mommy, too. But we have to be brave. I will be with you and you will be with me. We are never apart, you and me. You are my heart.

I am so excited to see your face after school and hear all about your big day. Where you sat, which friend you made, if you read any stories. I will have a big hug and kiss ready for you when you run out the door to me.

This is a big day. For us both. You are my first baby. You made me a mommy. And now here we are, 5.5 years later. The BIG DAY. Kindergarten. Let's make school fun.

I promise not to cry until I get back in the car.

I love you, baby girl. To the moon and back.

Love, mommy

Top Ten Reasons I am a Mean Mom Today

I read a couple of funny "top reason" blog posts today and thought I would add mine in, too. My kids have discovered they can say "You are mean!" for almost anything. Here are the top ten from today

10. I wouldn't let them each have two Popsicles

9. I won't let them watch tv all day

8. I wouldn't let them pick the baby up by his legs

9. I made them wash their hands before eating

8. I told them it was an hour until dinner

7. I gave them bananas for lunch

6. I make them drink water

5. I said no to taking special blankets outside

4. I tried to work on homework

3. I tried to talk to Daddy before he left for work

2. Apparently, I like Aiden more than I like them *eye roll*

1. After complaining that one had more snack than the other, I took it all out, counted it evenly and redistributed it, thus contaminating it, I guess.

NH Summer

This is how you know it is summer in NH:

- bug bites

- checking your kids for ticks multiple times a day

- you bring the fans in from the garage

- your kids take a bath every day

- the bath water after a bath is DISGUSTING

- the kids smell like sunscreen and bug spray

- your boobs sigh when you take your bra off at night

- the baby sits at the screen and yells at the big kids

- you check for ticks

- there are bear sightings

- people see moose (but I don't believe them)

- green green green green

- boats in the water

- flip flops come out

- rain

- green green green green

- you can smell bbq every day

- you hear lawn mowers at least once a week

- the kids go to bed without argument after playing outside all day long

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I hope there are beautiful flowers up there to bring you joy. Do you remember all of the crafts that Travis and I made for you over the years? I understand now how much joy those kind of things brings to a mother's heart.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. This is our fifteenth Mother's Day without you. Fifteen missed cards, flowers, crafts, lunches, smiles. It doesn't get any easier on each holiday.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I see you in the kids every day. In Riley's smile. In Isabella's quiet thinking. In Aiden's laugh. Three little pieces of you that I get to see every day. Three reminders of how you must have felt as a mom.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I hope every day that I am half the mom you were. That my kids love me half as much as I love you still. That I instill in each one of them the knowledge and wisdom you instilled in us.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I miss you so much. The most today and on the anniversary of your death. You were a wonderful mom. I wish I had realized that at eighteen. I hope you know that I know it now.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thank you for being the best mother you could be so that I can be the best mother I can be. I try to follow your example every day.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.

Babyhood is leaving

This week Aiden has decided he doesn't like the baby swing anymore. He bucks and cries when put in it. Last week we moved him into the crib because he was getting too big for the pack n play. And he's too big and squiggly for us to wash him in the shower.

We've hit the 7+ months mark. The countdown to toddler hood. He's trying to crawl, he can sit on his own (when he wants to), he eats solids, and he's trying to say Mama.

At every milestone, I am so proud of him but there is a tiny part of me that whispers last baby. Everything he does is the last time I'll witness it. So I hope he slows down! I'm in no hurry for him to grow up.

I will cherish the sweet smelling baby snuggles as long as I can.

Highlights of 2013

As this year comes to a close, I am reminded that there were more bright spots than not this year.

- The arrival of Aiden is, of course, a big #1. He has brought so much joy to our lives.

- The arrival of my nephew, Andy. We miss that little man so much.

- My brother marrying Julie. Welcome to the family (legally)! We love you.

- Seeing my bff in April (and looking forward to her visiting in 2014).

- Moving to live down the street from my close friend, Stephanie.

- A white Christmas

- Having a beautiful new house

- Seeing Isabella with her little bff Amelia

- Sharing the year with fabulous friends and family

What were some highlights from your year?

Mommy vs Riley: Christmas Photo 2013

All I wanted was a picture of the five of us, smiling in front of the Christmas tree. I had our outfits picked out weeks ago (OK, maybe a month or two ago). I coordinated. Scoured stores for a white shirt for Riley.

All Riley wanted was to have a fit. "No picture!" "I don't want to!" *sigh*

Do you want a lollipop? No! Picture!

Do you want candy? No! Picture!

Do you want juice? No! Picture!

And on and on we went for almost an hour. I don't want socks. I don't want shoes. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want.

I want my 'let (blanket). Sissy brings him his blanket AND Roo (awesome big sister). Daddy let him take a picture of mommy. And suddenly he was willing to take any amount of photos mommy wanted. Over and over and over again (not that I am a perfectionist or anything).

Hard to say who won, but I got my picture so I like to think I came out on top. But he's three and he got candy. I'm sure he won.