It's not you, it's us. We don't need your services anymore. You've been an amazing crib, but we're done having babies and the youngest wants a Big Boy Bed.
For the past almost six years, you have been a sturdy, useful crib. You watched over our middle child while he slept, had a side taken off to make a toddler bed, got moved across the country, and then got put to use again for our youngest. You've been jumped in, filled with all the stuffed animals in the room, thrown up on, chewed on, and even held the weight of Dad snuggling with a child.
We're sorry to see the end of our partnership. We'll give you a good reference to a new home where a new baby can sleep peacefully inside your wooden bars. Please, don't cry; you'll rot your wood.
We love you, Crib. We do.
Love,
The Family With No More Babies
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